‘Scanxiety’ was written by Rollo Hawkins, while waiting for scan results and read at this year’s Yes to Life conference. We wanted to share these words with our clients, who might resonate with his experience.
Scan day approaches. The letter through the door.
Two months of hope will be dashed for sure.
Time slows and I peruse the Fates
Disaster is looming and Death paces and waits.
Each ache is a bone met, each snuffle a sign
That my disease is rampant and no longer benign.
Sleep is fitful and fatigue wears me down.
Smiles replaced with an habitual frown.
Scan day arrives and passes at speed
The misery of waiting is not what I need
Why why why does it take so much time
An unwilling prisoner suffering his crime
My life is on hold and no plans can be made
I live minute to minute both scared and afraid
The pendulum swings but which end will I get
The bad one I think and that’s why I fret.
“Tick” means the cancer has spread once again
“Tock” reassures me that all is well in my brain
“Tick” highlights symptoms and dizzy spells
“Tock” says nothing is wrong with my cells.
Time plays tricks and keeping sane in the storm
Is tough on a patient. Fear is the norm.
The results have arrived and my results are okay.
Reset the clock until the next scan day.
06/11/2017 – Written by Rollo Hawkins in Christies while waiting for scan results.